Attack of the Mary Sue
by Captain Possum
Summary: The poor Death Note world gets attacked by a sparkling girl with gravity defying boobs. A bashing for all you Mary-Sues out there.


This fanfic is to bash the 'Mary-Sues' of the world.

All I'm going to say is poor, poor Death Note world.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

L had just finished typing up a recent report on Kira's killings. Everyone from the task force had arrived and even Misa came to pay a visit and irritate Light.

'_The weather is perfect today… too perfect' _L thought to himself as he saved his last file.

Suddenly a crimson ray of light randomly shot through the roof of the glass skyscraper they were currently in; and out of the red ray of light came a freakishly hyper young woman.

"What. The. Fuck. Do we know you?" Light almost fainted as the woman with red and black hair floated up to him '_She's fucking sparkling' _was all Aizawa could think.

"OH, HAI GUYSSS!1!40 MY NAME IST CASSANDRA LILIANNA NITRON WAFFLE CRIMSON KATANA YUKI PRINCESS ANNA CRISTIE POPPY ROSE RUBY SAUSAGE" It spoke in a absurdly high voice, which almost broke the entire HQ.

All the investigation team could do was stare as she latched onto L's arm and tried to kiss him. L had never jumped so fast and so far since that time when he almost dropped his strawberry cheesecake.

"Excuse me Miss Cassandra Lilianna Ni—"L gave up trying to pronounce the rest of her name "But I believe we don't know you…"

"STFU YE U DO!1134748! WE R LIKE COMPLTLY IN LUV AND U SED YOUD LUV ME 4EVER ND EVR, AND I LIKE TTLY KNW UR REAL NAME LOL!11one44"

"I don't believe I've ever confessed love to anyone, and you don't know my name because I've never met you."

"WEL U LIK TOTALLY DID TO MOI, AND I WUZ BORN WIV TEH SHINIGAMI EYES AND CUZ MATSUDA ND LIGHT ND NEAR ND MELLO AND MATT AND BEYOND BIRTHDAY AND HIGUCHI AND RYUK R LIK TOTALLY IN LUV WIV ME I SLEPT WIV ALL THEM ASWEL!twele!ve$34!"

"So you're a slut?" Misa interrupted.

"NO WAII STFU BITCH" and with that Cassandra Lilianna Nitron Waffle Crimson Katana Yuki Princess Anna Cristie Poppy Rose Ruby Sausage sparkle-slapped Misa in the face, and obviously because Cassandra Lilianna Nitron Waffle Crimson Katana Yuki Princess Anna Cristie Poppy Rose Ruby Sausage was SO magical and SO strong Misa went flying across half Japan.

'No way, she just hurt Misa' Rem thought to herself as she attemped to write Cassandra Lilianna Nitron Waffle Crimson Katana Yuki Princess Anna Cristie Poppy Rose Ruby Sausage's name into her Death Note. It took up 2 whole pages.

"HAHA, I DON FINK SO REM, CUZ I IZ SO FUCKIN MAGICAL I CANT BE KILLED BY TEH DEATHNOTE LOL!344743"

"How the did you know my name? You really are a despicable human."

"I AINT HUMAN, I'MA MOTHER FUCKIN VAMPIRE/FAIRY/WEREWOLF/ELF/ROBOT/CHOCOLATE CAKE LOLTINGS!""£$34543434FJERJ"

"Please…err…whatever your name is, just leave. And get Misa back while you're at it" Light piped-in, he for one was getting quite pissed off by this massive-boobed floaty thing.

"NO WAII, BUT DON LEAVE MEH CAUSE I HAD A WELL BAD PAST WHERE MA WHOLE FAMILY DIED AND WAS THE ONLEH SURVIVOR AND I FOUND OUT I HAD DESE WELL AWESOME POWAHS WHEN TEH EVILL BAD DUDES TRIED TO KILL ME$"!dhefd"

Matsuda, by this point, had fainted on top of Aizawa, who fell back on Yagami Soichiro, who fell out of the giant hole in the side of the building which Misa had made when Cassandra slapped her.

Ryuk was cackling at the top of his voice, he had been watching the whole thing "This is entertaining! Watching you guys get attacked by Sparkles here is hilarious!" He continued to roll around the floor laughing his head off.

No one had noticed the fact that L and Watari had been gone for at least 10 minutes; they returned, however, with machine guns and the whole Japanese army.

"There is a 100% chance this thing is a Mary-Sue."

After a short pause the just about all of Japan heard guns being fired from one particular HQ, but of course, because Cassandra Lilianna Nitron Waffle Crimson Katana Yuki Princess Anna Cristie Poppy Rose Ruby Sausage is SO perfect and SO immortal she simply floated away in her crimson ray of light.

"That, was a Mary-Sue" explained Watari "They're normally created by first time writers who see nothing wrong with making an absolutely perfect character, although reading a Mary-Sue fanfic can give the reader brain failure. This cause of death has killed more people then Kira's heart attacks."

The whole team spare Matsuda because he was unconscious gasped:

'_Damn, I've gotta use death by Mary-Sue more often!'_ Light thought.

'_That was creepy, even by my standards_' L thought.

'_Misa better be OK'_ Rem thought.

'_We need to get that girl back! It's the most fun I've had in ages!_' Ryuk thought.

"And the moral of this story is, please think before you write an OC story, if they are a Mary-Sue we well personally bring the Japanese army round your house to kill you." said Watari, breaking everyone's track of thought.

'_She still fucking sparkled_' thought Aizawa.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Yeah, so DON'T write a Mary-Sue fanfic or Watari and his Japanese army shall kill you dead.

**Love Jenna.**


End file.
